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週一嗎哪:驕傲的危險(2018/03/12)    首頁 > 最新內容

 

 

                 週一嗎哪 

服事全球工商界

2018-3-12

By Jim Mathis

驕傲的危險

PERILOUS PITFALLS OF PRIDE

 

驕傲就像癌症或是高血壓一樣,是沉默的殺手。幾年前,歌手兼詞曲創作羅傑.米勒(Roger Miller)一首悲嘆居高不下離婚率的歌裡就寫道: 「我相信驕傲是使夫婦人數越來越少的主要原因。」

 

驕傲不僅是關係破裂的主要原因,也是商業交易、家庭衝突和戰爭的來源!驕傲使人想要報復和反擊。 「是他們先開槍的」、「這領土在糾紛發生前就是我們的。」「我們想要更大的生意、更好的買賣價格和利潤。」「我是被誤會的。」

 

幾年前,我站在自家咖啡館的櫃檯裡,一個老友走進來。他看著我的菜單問我說:「你會做菜單上所有的項目嗎?」我很快地回答他說:「當然,這個菜單是我開發的,咖啡師也是我訓練的,我知道怎麼調那些飲料。」十五年後,我仍然記得那個對話,因為那個對話提醒了我,當時我是如何地驕傲。我覺得自尊被挑戰,所以為自己辯解。

 

當時我也許是覺得很不安,或是想要讓他知道我才是咖啡廳裡的老大,才那樣回答關於菜單的事。其實我可以更輕鬆地更自在的回答他,無需有太大的反應。而且,就在最近,類似的事情又發生了,只不過這次我就是笑著說「會。」這是一個更好的回應。我喜歡箴言143節說的:「愚妄人口中驕傲,如杖責打己身;智慧人的嘴必保守自己。

 

在我們不注意的時候,驕傲常常出現,讓我們在受到小小的挑戰時,就產生自我防衛,或是用污辱和貶低的方式來輕蔑對方以壯大自己。例如,騷擾就經常發生在我們想摧毀對方的信心來建立自己的自尊的時候。在職場上,常常聽見性騷擾的事件。我不是在試圖簡化這個不斷發生的問題,但是性騷擾發生的原因常常是因為一個男性想要建立自己錯誤的男性尊嚴或是想隱藏自己在男性尊嚴上的不安全感。箴言112: 驕傲來,羞恥也來;謙遜人卻有智慧。

 

驕傲也有其他的面向。例如,在馬太福音2239節當中,耶穌要我們愛人如己。在這個命令裡,耶穌要我們先愛自己,然後我們才有能力去愛別人。但是驕傲讓我們想在工作上居功: 在工作完成的時候覺得自豪以及因為想要讓人看見才把事情做好。同時,驕傲也鼓勵我們只重視體貼肉體的需求。

 

工商業界的人士,特別是當企業家需要自我介紹時,需要小心不讓驕傲、自我中心變成毒害關係的兇手。值得自豪和自大只有一線之隔,自信和自我膨脹也是。要辨別其中的不同,需要智慧和洞察的能力。此外,如果沒有神的智慧,有能力做事卻自以為謙卑不去做也可能變成一種逃避。

 

吉姆.提斯在堪薩斯州陸路公園市經營一家照相館。他的專長是商業和影劇界人像。他也經營一所攝影學校。他曾是一家咖啡店的經理,也曾是CBMC在堪薩斯州堪薩斯市和密蘇里州堪薩斯市的執行主任。

 

 

反省與問題討論

 

第一、當你在職場聽到驕傲兩個字,通常第一印象會是負面或正面的?請分享你的答案。

 

 

第二、對你而言,健康有生產力的自信和造成衝突與破壞的自大有甚麼不同?你是否可以舉一些你看過的例子。

 

 

第三、當我們在工作上表現得合乎這個世界的標準時,我們如何為自己感到驕傲,而不落入自大、自我中心以及為凸顯自己而踐踏別人的試探呢?

 

 

第四、你覺得過度的自信在商業和專業的領域是很常見,而真正的謙卑卻相對的罕見嗎?

 

 

 

備註: 如果你手上有聖經,希望閱讀更多與這個主題相關的經文,請參考:

箴言12:9 被人輕賤,卻有僕人,強如自尊,缺少食物。

箴言13:10驕傲只啟爭競;聽勸言的,卻有智慧。

箴言15:33敬畏耶和華是智慧的訓誨;尊榮以前,必有謙卑。

箴言16:5凡心媗熄う滿A為耶和華所憎惡;雖然連手,他必不免受罰。

箴言16:18-19驕傲在敗壞以先;狂心在跌倒之前。心媮儘齠P窮乏人來往,強如將擄物與驕傲人同分。

箴言18:12 敗壞之先,人心驕傲;尊榮以前,必有謙卑。

箴言21:4 惡人發達(發達:原文是燈),眼高心傲,這乃是罪。

箴言22:4 敬畏耶和華心存謙卑,就得富有、尊榮、生命為賞賜。

箴言29:23 人的高傲必使他卑下;心媮噱鼓滿A必得尊榮。

 

 

 

 

 

                                               MONDAY MANNA

March 12, 2018

 

PERILOUS PITFALLS OF PRIDE

 

By Jim Mathis

 

Like cancer or high blood pressure, pride can be a silent killer. A few year ago, a song by singer/songwriter Roger Miller lamented the high divorce rate with a line that said, “It’s my belief pride is the chief cause in the decline in the number of husbands and wives.”

 

Pride is not only a principal cause of the breakup of relationships; it can also be the source of bad business deals, family conflicts, and wars. It can cause us to seek revenge and retaliation. “They shot first.” “That territory was ours before that happened.” “We want a better deal, a bigger piece of the pie.” “I was wronged.”

 

A number of years ago, I was standing at the counter of the coffeehouse I owned when an old friend walked in. He surveyed the menu on the wall and asked if I knew how to make all those things. I quickly responded that I had developed all the recipes and trained the baristas. So yes, I knew how to make the drinks. The fact that I still remember that conversation more than 15 years later tells me I was very guilty of pride in that moment. My ego was challenged and I felt the need to defend myself.

 

Perhaps I was feeling insecure, or just wanted to let him know that I was in control of the place – and that included the menu. I am confident that today I would have made a more lighthearted comment and would soon have forgotten about the incident. In fact, in a similar situation that came up recently, I just answered in the affirmative and smiled. It was a much better response. I like the advice of Proverbs 14:3, which says, “A fool’s mouth lashes out with pride, but the lips of the wise protect them.”

 

Pride presents its ugly head when we least expect it. It causes us to try to defend ourselves at the slightest challenge. It causes us to belittle others to build ourselves up through insults and put-downs. Harassment is generally caused by trying to build up ourselves while we are tearing down somebody else.  We have been hearing a lot about sexual harassment in the workplace. Without seeking to oversimplify the recurring problem, it is often caused by a man trying to build up his own distorted view of masculinity or hide his own insecurity. “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom” (Proverbs 11:2).

 

However, there is another side to pride to consider. In Matthew 22:39, Jesus instructed us to love our neighbors as ourselves. In this command, Jesus was implying we need to love ourselves first to effectively love others. Pride causes us to take credit for our work; we take pride in our accomplishments and want to turn out quality work – work that we are proud for others to see. And pride encourages me to take care of my physical body.

 

Business people, and especially entrepreneurs, need to be able to promote themselves, but we must do it in such a way that pride does not become sin – centered on ourselves and poisoning relationships. There is a fine line between pride and arrogance, and between self-confidence and excessive pride. To know where those lines are requires wisdom and discernment. Humility, with strength, can be an elusive thing without God’s wisdom.

 

Jim Mathis is the owner of a photography studio in Overland Park, Kansas, specializing in executive, commercial and theatrical portraits, and operates a school of photography. Jim is the author of High Performance Cameras for Ordinary People, a book on digital photography. He formerly was a coffee shop manager and executive director of CBMC in Kansas City, Kansas and Kansas City, Missouri.

 

CBMC INTERNATIONAL:  Jim Firnstahl, President

2850 N. Swan Road, Suite 160▪ Tucson, Arizona 85712 ▪ U.S.A.

TEL.: 520-334-1114 ▪ E-MAIL: mmanna@cbmcint.org

Web site: www.cbmcint.org  Please direct any requests or change of address to: jmarple@cbmcint.org

 

 

Reflection/Discussion Questions

 

1.       When you hear the word “pride,” especially within the context of the workplace, what is your initial reaction – positive or negative? Explain your answer.

 

 

 

 

2.       What in your view is the difference between healthy, productive pride and the kind of pride that can cause conflict and damage relationships? Can you cite any examples you have observed?

 

 

 

 

3.       How can we feel pride in who we are and the work we do in a good sense of the word, without crossing into the realm of arrogance, self-centeredness, and the temptation to promote ourselves at the expense of others?

 

 

 

 

4.    Why do you think excessive pride is so commonly observed in the business and professional world, while genuine humility seems rare in comparison?

 

 

 

 

NOTE: If you have a Bible and would like to read more about this subject, consider the following passages:

 

Proverbs 12:9, 13:10, 15:33, 16:5,18-19, 18:12, 21:4, 22:4, 29:23

 

 

 

 

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